School News

Reflections on Trust and Community

6/6/2024

Kim Ridley

Dear Fayerweather Community,

I would like to take this opportunity to reflect on this school year through the lens of the word, trust. Trust is a “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” Trust is closely related to words like confidence, belief, faith, sureness, certainty, free of suspicion, conviction, and assurance (Google Dictionary). The definition of trust reflects a kind of perfection that is impossible to master. I encourage all to reframe the word trust as a practice we must work on daily.

Recently, after having dinner with a former Fayerweather Board member, I stopped by Target in Porter Square. I trusted that I could swiftly find a parking space, enter the store, and find the products I needed. As soon as I made that right turn into the parking lot, I faced construction. My heart sank, and my mind began racing, “Where will I park? Oh God, I don’t want to go into the parking lot across the street; I only have a few minutes,” and so on. I found the only available space; phew! I walked into Target and found the store rearranged since my last visit. Anxiety pulsed through my body for several seconds; then, I began to orient myself and find the items I came to buy. I went to get my face product, only to find it locked behind a thick plastic structure. Another change! I rang the bell and waited for help to access my face cream—again, frustration. Eventually, I managed to get everything I needed. Still, the experience made me think about how people manage change and transition and the trust it takes in oneself to build the resilience needed to meet change head-on. Ultimately, I trusted that I would navigate and figure out how to find my way through this new version of Target. I slowed down and asked for help and clarity. With more impactful changes, what skill sets and mindsets are needed to help us know we have agency and choice in managing change and transition? I believe it starts with trusting yourself.

Yet, our understanding and experience of trust are shaped by early life experiences and the cultures and contexts in which we are socialized. When you think about the context and culture of Fayerweather, who is trusted to teach, lead, make difficult decisions, make mistakes, be misunderstood, be forgiven, have different perspectives, and ultimately, who is trusted to be their authentic selves? Recently, a community member shared their admiration and trust for one staff member while struggling to connect with another. This experience is not unique; many feel similarly at different times. When asked to elaborate, the community member was surprised to learn that the person they admired and trusted could also be experienced as frustrating and untrustworthy by someone else. Both perceptions can be accurate simultaneously. Trust is a two-way exchange between individuals and groups of people and is intrinsically linked to power and privilege.

Another way of thinking about this idea of trust is our experience of Fayerweather. Many of us experience FSS as a place of joy and connection; for some, there may be times when FSS has felt insular, challenging, and unresponsive. Many aspects of your and your student’s experience at Fayerweather can feel wonderful and difficult, and both experiences can be true. An essential element of trust is recognizing that we have agency and choice over managing, dealing with, and reacting to challenges. As we approach the coming school year, I encourage all to consider strengthening our trust muscles. Trust that you know what is best for yourself, and recognize that your reactions and actions to a particular event or situation hold some truth. At the same time, the reality is often more complex than our individual experiences. How might the recognition of complexity reframe how we think about trust?

As we bid farewell to another eventful school year, I am grateful for your continued partnership, investment, and trust in our school. This unwavering support allows us to make a positive impact beyond our small school community. Special thanks go to Becky Evans and Abby Murphy for their exceptional leadership of the PA. With great focus, work, and attention, they solidified a group of parents and caregivers who actively supported community-building opportunities throughout the school year.

We also sincerely appreciate all stakeholders who participated in the strategic planning process, volunteering their time and sharing their insights. Courtney Quinn, Lauren Stewart, and I will follow up with Ian Symmonds, our consultant, to summarize and refine the next steps for moving forward on this work. We will report to you in the fall. Your contributions are invaluable in ensuring FSS remains responsive and agile for years. Thanks to everyone for the many ways, big and small, that you have contributed to Fayerweather.

I wish you a happy and safe summer and look forward to seeing you in September, if not before.

Until we meet again, be well.

In partnership,

Kim

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